January 3, 2007

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:21 pm by emmasmom

I’m moving. Posting pictures isn’t easy on this blog and easy is key in this crazy baby life!!!

 See the new blog at: http://mommypromises.blogspot.com/ 

January 2, 2007

Aw, nuts!

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:01 am by emmasmom

It seems that our little girl is very possibly allergic to peanuts. She’s had peanut butter many times in the past 2 months, but recently she started breaking out in a rash when she ate it. At first we weren’t sure what it was from, because at this age we’re introducing a lot of new food. But at my family’s holiday party on friday we discovered that it was indeed the peanut butter that made her face swell up, her eyes itch, and a rash to spread.

Now, this might not seem too scary to anyone else (and judging by everyone’s reactions, no one but me thinks it’s even remotely serious) but I was – and am – pretty horrified. I think this fear stems from teaching at the daycare and having two children with peanut allergies so serious that they could have died from someone bringing in a little ol’ pb&j for lunch. We all learned how to use the epipens, and good god I do NOT want Emma to have one of those.

I don’t want to have to worry about letting her play at a friends house, or stay over with our relatives, or go to school because – as every parent knows – no one looks after my baby the way I do. It’s just a parent thing; as moms and dads we memorize every detail of our childrens lives, including what each cry or laugh or squeak means, which foods they like or dislike (or, heaven forbid, could die from eating!), and can sometimes tell what our kids are up to from a different room. Sure, my family and Jared’s family and even our friends love Em deeply and dearly, but I doubt anyone worries about her the way her mommy does. Jared said yesterday that he tends to be in denial about things and from the way he’s reacted to this peanut butter thing I have to agree with him. While I’m busy scouring over every label on every food box in the pantry and wondering aloud “Does the turkey in the deli ever touch peanuts or tree nuts??? Who regulates this sort of thing and where can I find out?”, Jared is playing with Emma and her new farm animals. While I’m crying over the allergy testing she’s going to go for, he’s saying that we don’t know anything yet and not really saying much more of anything.

I don’t know if it’s just pregnancy hormones or this wretched cold I have, but I’m over the top loopy about this darn peanut thing. I don’t want to have to worry that some stupid relative or friend will hand her a potato chip that’s been on the belt in the factory where they process peanuts. I don’t want to dread her going to Kindergarten for anything more than the normal empty nest thing. I don’t want to imagine a stranger having to poke her with a needle if she stops breathing in the cafeteria because some dumb kid next to her got a bit of his pb&j on her lunch. Stupid kid! Stupid imaginary kid!

And stupid, overanalytical brain!

I’m really very horrible when it comes to letting things go without worrying about them. I’ve been a control freak all my life and nothing brings this out more than the thought of someone poking something sharp into my child. I have a huge fear of all vaccines and blood work (and, obviously, allergy testing) for Emma. I just cringe at the idea of her going through any pain.

{We actually switched pediatricans earlier this year because of Dr. B’s (the ex-ped) negative reaction to our questions about the possible side effects of vaccinations. She was very in-your-face about it and after the 3 shots were over and Emma was done screaming at the top of her lungs for 10 minutes straight (A VERY LONG FREAKING TIME!!!!!) and I finished nursing her for comfort, we left the office only to be confronted with a smug “Did you manage to survive?”. Yeah. She was not alluding to whether Emma was okay, but rather was kind of making it seem as if we had been foolish for questioning the safety of vaccines. I think she heard us yelling over Emma’s screams that next time NO ONE was going to guilt us into doing something we weren’t comfortable with. We switched doctors that day. Of course, the new doctor wasn’t too happy about our refusing the flu shot for her, and I’m sure she won’t be thrilled that we’re going to refuse to let them recheck her hemoglobin in February. But when they checked it the first time and found that Em was slightly anemic they failed to acknowledge that Emmie’d been sick for 2 weeks and wasn’t eating anything!!! Duh…wouldn’t that make you anemic?}

Wow. Crazy, hormone, sleep-deprivation, sickness induced rant officially over. The only reason I don’t delete posts like these is because I know I’ll get a kick out of myself later on!

Anyway, I think I was trying to say that I really am not looking forward to allergy testing and would like to get every detail of information about what exactly happens at the appointment before we get there. I want to know if they will only test her for peanut butter (our preference) or will they make us test her for more allergies? Where exactly will they do the skin prick test? On her arm? How will it be done? Pricking or scratching, and with what exact instrument? How painful is it, and is it really necessary if we are indeed going to keep her away from all nuts anyway? Can’t we put this off until she’s older…say, around 35? How will the test be run – do we get to be there with her and are we expected to hold her down and will I be held accountable if I kick the allergist if he doesn’t make it nice and quick and if he causes any pain to my baby whatsoever?

Ha. I’m a big mess tonight. Only half of what I wrote above is a joke. 

I think this nonsense better stop tonight. I want to post Christmas pictures but I’m too tired and the room is actually spinning so I’m going to have Jared make some tea and lay down and sleep.